"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle
Have you ever set a New Year's resolution with all the best intentions, only to find yourself falling back into old habits by February? Or perhaps you've launched an exciting new initiative at work, only to watch it fizzle out despite everyone's initial enthusiasm. If so, you're not alone. Welcome to the fascinating world of competing commitments - the hidden forces that often derail our best-laid plans.
In their groundbreaking work, Harvard scholars Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey introduced the concept of competing commitments. But let's take it a step further and explore how these competing commitments tie into what we at Phoenix call our "unconscious purpose" or "default success strategy."
Let's look at some examples of how competing commitments can manifest in different leadership styles:
Need to Be in Charge:
Stated Commitment: "I'm committed to empowering my team and delegating more responsibilities."
Competing Commitment: "I'm committed to maintaining control and ensuring everything is done to my standards."
A CEO might want to develop her leadership team but finds herself micromanaging projects and overriding decisions, fearing that letting go might lead to mistakes or reflect poorly on her leadership.
Need to Be Accurate:
Stated Commitment: "I'm committed to meeting project deadlines and delivering results promptly."
Competing Commitment: "I'm committed to ensuring every detail is perfect before submitting any work."
A research analyst aims to provide timely reports but often misses deadlines as he repeatedly checks and rechecks his data, afraid that any minor error could damage his reputation for accuracy.
Need to Be Connected:
Stated Commitment: "I'm committed to giving honest feedback to improve team performance."
Competing Commitment: "I'm committed to maintaining harmonious relationships and being liked by everyone."
A team leader wants to address performance issues but often sugarcoats or avoids difficult conversations, fearing that direct feedback might damage her relationships with team members.
Need to Be Consistent:
Stated Commitment: "I'm committed to implementing innovative strategies to grow our business."
Competing Commitment: "I'm committed to maintaining our tried-and-true methods that have worked in the past."
A department manager recognizes the need for digital transformation but resists major changes, preferring to stick with familiar processes that feel safe and predictable.
These competing commitments create what Kegan and Lahey call a "dynamic equilibrium" - a state where we're stuck, unable to make lasting change.
So, how can we unmask these hidden agendas and break free from this cycle?
Here's a practical exercise:
State Your Commitment: Clearly articulate your goal or intention.
Identify Contradictory Behaviors: Note actions that undermine your stated commitment.
Uncover Competing Commitments: Explore what hidden commitments might be driving these behaviors.
Examine Big Assumptions: Identify the underlying beliefs or fears fueling your competing commitments.
Recognizing these competing commitments is just the first step. Here's how you can work through them:
Self-Reflection: Use our coaching tool, the Elevate System, to understand your default success strategies. Are you primarily driven by control, connection, consistency, or accuracy?
Team Dialogue: Create safe spaces for your team to discuss their competing commitments. This vulnerability can lead to breakthrough insights.
Reframe the Narrative: Instead of viewing competing commitments as obstacles, see them as valuable information about what you truly value.
Small Experiments: Test your big assumptions. For example, the CEO might delegate a small project entirely to see if her fears are founded.
Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge when team members successfully navigate their competing commitments. This reinforces the value of this work.
Remember, competing commitments aren't the enemy. They're often well-intentioned attempts to protect ourselves. The key is bringing them to light and consciously choosing which commitments truly serve our higher purpose.
As leaders, when we engage in this work, we not only transform ourselves but create a culture where deep, lasting change is possible. We move from a place of unconscious reaction to conscious choice.
So, the next time you find yourself or your team stuck in a cycle of unfulfilled resolutions or stalled initiatives, don't just push harder. Pause and ask, "What competing commitment might be at play here?" You might just unlock the key to breakthrough performance.
Remember, the most powerful changes often start with the most uncomfortable truths. But in facing these truths, we open up a world of possibility. Let's get started - your true potential is waiting to be unleashed.
Read Part Four.